Is it mandatory ? Some say yes, some say no. I hold no disdain for marriage, for I know it is a covenant instituted and regarded highly by our Lord. I further understand that marriage can also be seen as evangelistic, for marriage models , or at least should model, the beauty of The Bride (the church) and The Bridegroom (our Lord Jesus).

So we begin with genesis. He who finds a wife finds a good thing (Prov 18:22), but is it mandatory to seek a wife, or was God instituting marriage for the need at hand ? Was it for all of mankind or just for Adam ?

It is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). There is a sense throughout scripture that we are not to isolate, but instead join together, believers, as a biblical community.  Yet some men far wiser than I have made some interesting comments on this scripture.

John Calvin says

“But although God pronounced, concerning Adam, that it would not be profitable for him to be alone, yet I do not restrict the declaration to his person alone, but rather regard it as a common law of man’s vocation, so that every one ought to receive it as said to himself, that solitude is not good, excepting only him whom God exempts as by a special privilege. Many think that celibacy conduces to their advantage, and therefore, abstain from marriage, lest they should be miserable. …”

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/calvin/calcom01.viii.i.html

R.C. Sproul says of Genesis 2:18

“…Abstention from lawful marriage is never commanded in scripture, although some are given the gift of celibacy for service”

and then there is 1 Corinthians 7

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.

7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.

9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

In regards to verse 7

John Calvin says, “Paul here expressly declares, that every one has not a free choice in this matter, because virginity is a special gift, that is not conferred upon all indiscriminately.”

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/calvin/calcom39.xiv.iii.html

MacArthur says, “As a single person, Paul recognized the special freedom and independence he had to serve Christ. But he did not expect all believers to be single, nor all who were single to stay that way, nor all who were married to act celibate as if they were single.”

R.C. Sproul says, “There are certain advantages for the work of the kingdom, in remaining unmarried, and so Paul personally can wish that every believer would give his or her life exclusively to the advance of the gospel. But the apostle realizes that such situation is not possible for everyone and would lead many Christians into sexual temptation. ”

So now I am, seemingly, at an impasse. Should I take the divine instructions in Genesis to heart and thus begin a quest to find a mate or should I take the freedoms offered by the great apostle Paul in 1 Cor 7 ?

I am greatly torn, for if I take the freedom, is the freedom a product of my selfish desire to remain free of such great responsibility imposed by marriage ? If I share in Calvin’s and Sproul’s interpretation of Genesis 2:18, am I doing so and sharing in their cultural biases (if in fact their interpretations are guided by cultural biases) ?

So if I desire to marry and decide to not pursue marriage, am I in some egregious sin? What of us who do desire and for one reason or another are not able to find a mate, what will become us? Could our lack of success in such a venture be attributed to some proclivity to not really wanting to succumb to this mandate (if in fact it is a mandate) ?

This is my struggle.